Missy walking with her Gods

By Bobby Neal Winters

Mischief has disappeared.  We called her Missy, but her full name was Mischief, and now that she has disappeared, I feel obliged by honoring her with her full name.

Mischief is our cat. Our indoor cat, I should say, because we still have two outdoor cats. 

Her disappearance and probable death disturbs me because we have no closure.  Absent of finding her body, we will not be able to do a funeral.

Though, I have to admit, I am not sure that I could do a proper funeral for her.  I only have the United Methodist Book of Worship, and while that has a ceremony that could be used for any Christian funeral, Mischief was not a Christian.

Mischief was a follower of the ancient religion of Egypt.

I know very little of that religion, but I do know the ancient Egyptians worshiped cats.  That was Missy’s point of entry into that religion.  She firmly believed that she should be served and worshiped. She made that abundantly clear on any number of occasions. 

My family--some willingly, others not so much--were part of her cult of followers.  She hated me with a fury stronger than the devil’s hatred of holy water, but I was still one of her servants who could provide warmth for her when it was cold enough.

She had found us about 14 years ago.  She was something of a bad girl in the beginning.  Often she turned up in the morning with both a little blood and a smile on her face.  Whose blood it was and how it came to be there was never clear, because she had been declawed.

Because of her declawed status, we transitioned her to become an indoor cat. As a result of that, she began to view the inside of our house as her dominion to be jealously guarded. She hated it and protested violently when any other animal entered into her domain.  It should be noted, she considered children to be animals.  They are, but you know what I mean.

In particular, she didn’t like it when my youngest daughter’s dog Cowboy came to visit.  Cowboy is an Aussiedoodle, part Australian shepherd, part poodle.  He is relatively huge.  Missy could cow him with a hiss from ten feet away, so strong was her hatred of him.

Mischief had been in frail health for a number of years, yet the end--if she is indeed dead--came suddenly.  I believe it was precipitated by the arrival of our new dog, Percy, on the scene.

As much as Missy hated Cowboy, she hated Percy even more.  Given her religion and her failing health, I believe she viewed him as a manifestation of Anubis, the dog god of the dead--and dyslexics.

She began acting out more.  She would wake up Jean in the middle of the night, demanding to be fed.  She would make messes in inconvenient places.  Once she even befouled our bed in the manner of Johnny Depp’s ex-wife.

Eventually, she began demanding to go out of doors, as she had not in years.  Given her recent history of making messes, we, her cult, relented in our protection of her.  I believe she was seeking the out of doors so she could more fully connect with the gods of her religion.

Primary among these would Bast, the Egyptian cat goddess, of course being her patron.  But she had a particular reverence for Aten, the Sun god.  So many times I found her lying peacefully in a spot of sunshine, with a look of love and contentment on her face.

On the day before she went missing, I was coming back from my afternoon walk, when I saw her lying by the sidewalk near my house.  She was in a spot of sunshine, her body formed into a circle with her head near her bottom.  It was as if she were forming herself into a circle to mimic her god Aten.

There was a smile of contentment and satisfaction on her face.

I never saw her again.

It has been a week. Having worked through the denial stage of grieving, we are thinking of disposing of her various accouterments: litter box, drinking bowls, etc.  While we are left with two outdoor cats, neither will be promoted to an indoor cat.  Missy made sure of that before she passed-on.

While we do have a cat number of three at our house, I am hopeful that Percy is persnickety enough to fill that niche.

I will miss Mischief though. There are so few entities who hate me as much as she did, but at my age one learns to appreciate any strong, long term relationship.

God with your gods, Missy.

Bobby Winters, a native of Harden City, Oklahoma, blogs at redneckmath.blogspot.com and okieinexile.blogspot.com. He invites you to “like” the National Association of Lawn Mowers on Facebook. Search for him by name on YouTube.